The other day I was involved in my very first Skype chat, albeit from the far corner of the living room.
My wife spoke to her mum via link to Seattle..
Krissy was sat at my iMac, which because it’s 27″ and she’s quite small made it look like she was the young girl in front of the telly in the Poltergeist movie.
Krissy had the video browser on full size and by mistake we left the 42″ telly on, which was set to the computer channel.
This, of course, meant krissy’s poor mum was beamed to two screens in a small flat..It was like she was performing, with Coldplay, at Madision Square Gardens or something.The whole thing was hilarious..
Krissy’s never-ending conversations were like spidermans wrist webs being endlessly shot out, filling the whole of New York City (or whereever he fights crime)
Krissy came up with a classic exchange
krissy “Mom have you watched the American show The Wire? ”
Krissy’s mum “No, what’s it about? ”
Krissy “Oh it’s a show about black people ”
Oh Christ..
It’s lucky krissy doesn’t work for Sight and Sound..It was like watching Shakespeare’s universe squashed into a twitter update


Woody, Doing The Rounds (And Arounds)

Allen: That’s quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn’t it?
Woman: Yes, it is.

Allen: What does it say to you?

Woman: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless, bleak straitjacket in a black, absurd cosmos.

Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?

Woman: Committing suicide.

Allen: What about Friday night?